Pre-Belt Testing Nerves

Today CC and I got our hair done and I had some phone calls to make (one regarding a speeding ticket I got a month ago -- first one in my life!) I am letting tasks get under my skin because I have now just acquired pre-belt testing nerves. Again ... a new scenario for me.

Last night I slept horribly. Cecilia said I was snoring SOOOO loud I sounded like a different person. She also said I feel asleep so quickly and just moved through the stages of sleep really quickly until I had a huge snoring-fest going. Quite honestly, I don't remember any of it. I woke up with a couple of small scrapes on my foot that she said was from the cats running over my feet. I can't remember an ounce of it. I do know I dreamt about my belt test and that the test consisted also of math, history and science theories. It was NOTHING that we studied and it all sounded like jibberish to me. Strange to say the least. Just my psyche trying to deal with the stresses.

I am stressed today because of natural nerves and I am doing my best to cope with them. 3 Hours and counting.

The first test will be over soon. I'm trying to think of ways to deal with my nerves and focus. It's nuts.

I live a pretty stress-free life (for the most part) that maybe I am not as "stress-hearty" as I need to be.

10:07 - the belt test is over and we passed. It was one of the most intense workouts I have had in a LONG time (in a couple of decades at least). Satisfying ... but no without some bruises I think :) At one point I was beginning to hyperventilate and could not catch my breath. Weird and probably part of the thyroid. I didn't panic because I was aware of what was going on ... in another scenario, I could have gone into panic mode easily. I excused myself and got some water ... that helped.

We passed ... cool.

Combat Hapkido Training Tonight

That kindey stone has definitely passed and the pain is gone (thank God). Pretty awful .... but I managed.

Tonight CC and I have Combat Hapkido training (our belt test is on the 19th of May right before we head out to Las Vegas for a little vacation).

I just got back from doing a little yard work. I'm a little tight in the hamstrings and the hips and will have to definitely loosen up -- it's also definitely because of the heat. I'm a little tired from that and think I'll rest in order to save something for tonight.

11:50 p.m: CC and I had a good hapkido practice tonight and we sat and watched a lot of the Tae Kwon Do and I'm glad that I am holding off at least until the fall to try it out. It looks really rigorous and very choreographed. I think a lot of the outside stimulation might make it more difficult for me. I DO know that there are some day classes with only a few students, so CC and I would try those versus the night classes that are so frenetic. But we aren't thinking about that. I think 3X a week with combat hapkido will keep us deep into it. It's a lot of fun and very challenging ... :)

Our yellow belt test is on May 19th.

Had Combat Hapkido Today - Eyes Bugging Me

I've definitely got a bout of optic neuritis -- but nothing like I had before I started taking Copaxone. I'm dealing with quite a bit of blurriness, and of course this gets worse as I heat up. That's just the nature of optic neuritis.

I decided to modify my gi today and not wear the jacket. I did that last night as well. This helped practice quite a bit. CC and I joined the "Black Belt Club" for Combat Hapkido so that we can go to three practices a week. This will be a great option to really focus on the art and get some good conditioning. We are working on making one of our rooms into a martial arts room with matting and our heavy bag. It'll be great.

I was quite tired today after training and slept a little bit. Nothing out of the ordinary. I am looking forward to hearing about my thyroid blood work.

Baseball Cards -- A Fun Hobby and Diversion

CC and I had a fun day and headed out to a Sports Collectibles Show (baseball cards and memorabilia mostly). It was a lot of fun and we walked the length of a shopping mall and I was wearing my MBT sandals and was able to do it without any problems with hip and muscle issues. It was kind of miraculous actually. Typically I have had problems with tightening and weakening of muscles in the hip and hamstrings. The shoes really help me a lot. They are amazing.

We spent some time going through cards and I was able focus and stay awake ... we then went and had lunch and ice cream. A very fun day and great diversion. I felt really good.

It's been a struggle to do some of the simple stuff and to have the energy to do more than one thing. I feel like I am fighting double fatigue (something I think I mentioned already). It's great to do normal stuff.

I've had a chance to think about starting Tae Kwon Do at this point and think that NOW is not the time to do it given the state of my immune system and the fact that doing TKD right now would be twice the challenge than it would be if I had my thyroid medication perfectly regulated. I could wait for things to be perfect ... but that will never be. I think, though, that I will work at integrating one more day of Hapkido (Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday) and work at doing it better. I guess that adding one more martial art at this point when I am not in my top form physically and cognitively. Learning Poomsae would be more difficult that it could be. I think I need to just get in a better way before I take it on. So, the Black Belt Club in Combat Hapkido it is ... and I will take this through the Summer.

I feel good about that and have been struggling to figure out what I want to do to integrate more martial arts.

Red Sox and Politics ...

Yesterday CC and I went to Cooperstown and saw the town swarmed with Red Sox fans -- it was very fascinating to see (and heartwarming) :)

On the way there, I got my first speeding ticket. I'm 42 and started driving at 16. All of those years without a ticket. It was bound to end. The Officer was kind enough to tell me that there was a way to appeal it down -- especially with a clean license. So, I went to DMV this morning (before Hapkido training) and got a driver's license abstract of my license. I had to send it into the DA of Cooperstown and hope they will agree with my plea.

Today, Hapkido practice was a lot of fun. We talked to our Instructor about trying out Tae Kwon Do and will focus on the day classes (Tuesday and Thursday). CC and I tend to like these and they are tiny and easier with closer focus (only 5-6 people in them). Awesome! We will do that in May.

The heat is starting.

Red Sox are on now and I have to keep my eyes on the Pennsylvania Primary -- I'm outta here :)

Good practice today ...

We had a good practice today - and we are getting closer to our belt test. I'm feeling pretty good about things. Little by little.

I got a picture today of CC and I in our Gi's with our white belts. That's our instructor Mr. Brian Miller (he's very good). We really enjoying our Dojang and the martial art we are doing right now. We see a long journey. I think we will work towards Tae Kwon Do in the future if we can get more of this under our belts and continue to condition. I need to get my thyroid medicine regulated so that I can get some of this extra weight off. I know that in time this will happen.

Feeling good and am going to take the rest of the day to let my body recover. CC's birthday tomorrow (Celia-Palooza 2008). We will definitely celebrate :-)

I Slept Most of Yesterday ....

It was weird, my body was so tired most of yesterday that I slept on and off all day until about 5:00 when CC got home from teaching. I felt like a slug. I knew I had Hapkido practice but wondered how I was going to get the strength to go.

Well I did ... barely. It was good to go to class and get the chance to challenge myself. CC and I have class again this afternoon. We love our Tuesday afternoon classes and will soon be signing up for the Blackbelt Club so that we can practice 3X a week. I do love it.

We are getting closer to our belt test so we were working on techniques for that. We've studied a little beyond our white belt so some of the techniques get co-mingled (not good). The good thing is, I think I am more awake today. Yesterday someone hit me with the sleep stick and I just could not get up for the life of me. Strange.

Back on Track

I have been a bit negligent with the blog ... but all is well. I am definitely back to strange sleeping patterns and will have to see if I can get that under control.

I've had two pretty aggressive Combat Hapkido practices which included a bunch of falls and rolls on the shoulder and I did not seem to have any problems. It's very strange. The pain is gone and so is the impingement (whatever it was). I really do need to push for an MRI so we can figure out what the deal is in case it happens again. We were working on a lot of joint locks on the elbows and shoulders last week. Perhaps just a little too much tension on the joint and too much hyperextension.

Anywho -- I am back on track for my belt test in May and CC and I are excited for that first one. We were watching Tae Kwon Do and it looks like it would really kick my butt if I did that martial art. Nuts!

All is well ... I am going to work on doing more training every day to try to build up a little muscle.

Shoulder is feeling better

I had a strange incident on Saturday night that involved a pop and a click of my right shoulder and a dramatic decrease of pain. As for my shoulder now, it feels awesome and it's difficult to imagine that there is something awry with it. But I know better because I am pretty attuned to my joints .... here's what I think.

Having dealt with 3 reconstruction of my right knee (ligament and cartilage issues) and a Hills-Sachs fracture in my left shoulder (discovered by MRI 3 weeks after an ice hockey injury) I think that there is something loose or floating around in my shoulder capsule. Whether this is a torn piece of cartilage or a loose ligament, I think that it wedged itself in the joint somehow and caused excruciating pain during inconsistent movements. The movements were sometimes minuscule and I could not seem to replicate them for doctors when needed or for myself. They just appeared at certain points and left me with a dull, strong ache. To me, that is a sign of a floater in the joint just finding it's way inside the joint and causing pain. On Saturday night after a "pop-click" something released and caused almost instant relief. As of today, I feel like I have full range of motion and am ready to get back to business.

I will be wearing my shoulder support/brace for a good month through practices because I feel like my joint is a little loose and I will definitely keep my eye on it.

Tonight: Combat Hapkido practice and I will find a way to work though it and try not to get injured. I think that I need to work on my core and strengthening my muscles around my shoulder and upper torso to keep from getting injured again.

Being injured is extremely disappointing for me because I really am having a ton of fun and feel driven. This is good!

Nap and a Hapkido Class Tonight

I was tired today and my side was sore, but with Ibuprofen I have been able to keep the side pain at bay. I'll probably talk with my doctor just to make sure everything is ok.

I had a great class tonight and learned a lot - some lapel grabs that were very affective. CC had to opt out because of a paper she is presenting in Chicago in about a week.

Feeling good overall.

Feeling better - We Trained Today

"Strength of Spirit"

Had a good day today. CC and I have recovered enough to get out to the Dojang and enjoy some open mat time to go over tasks for a white belt test (to get our yellow belt). We learned that the test will be in May. So we are about a month away from that. We ran through the curriculum and are pretty well off (yay). We've been working on some more complex techniques that are beyond the white belt arena which is cool. It will be a celebrated day when we get our first belt.

I can feel that Combat Hapkido is helping my balance, strength and flexibility. I definitely have some weakness on my right side but am working on my left to increase that strength more and am also keeping mind of my right side as well. We had a very good practice and I came home, ate some late lunch and dinner and thought I was going to do more kicking/striking practice and feel asleep for a couple of hours. Not what I had intended at all.

I love the symbols at the top -- Strength of Spirit. Every time I push myself and when I get that new belt in time .... that is what will have gone into it. Most of the strength I could muster. I refuse to sit down and give up.

Had a nice workout!

CC and I did a nice Combat Hapkido workout of trapping drills and wristgrabs -- but mostly drilling to work on coordination. It's been really good and we have a good time getting the flexibility in there too. Really wonderful stuff ... it makes me feel really good after I am done.

I'm working through little aches and pains which I think are part of the plan .... CC has got like a million bruises. But we are surviving and having a blast.

Right now, a little down time rest time.

10:30 p.m - A good amount of left side rib pain that I think is most likely MS-related in origin. I'll need to talk to the neurologist.

Courage ... Living the Martial Way & Becoming a Warrior

CC and I were at Barnes and Noble today looking at martial arts magazines and books. She found a great Krav Maga book (this is an Israeli combative system and is definitely implemented in Combat Hapkido). It's got some great stuff to learn. I also found some magazines and a book on pressure points.

We sound like fun company don't we???

Actually, I love throwing myself into martial arts and building a Warrior Spirit. CC had the book "Living the Martial Way" that she bought several years ago because it looked interesting. Amazing how it aligns with our journey right now.

Combat Hapkido is definitely a more relaxed type of martial art. There are no competitions or tournements -- it's very practical and is about self-defense and survival. It is a great path for us. Very challenging but definitely attainable with work and practice. We both are really loving it.

I am considering doing a new tattoo in the near future (I was told it was kind of addicting). This is a tat for "Warrior". I am also considering either Strength or Courage ... I am sure that it will come to me.

I feel like a Warrior in so many ways. As MS'ers we have to battle every day. We have to battle and keep going despite living in a world of unknowns.

Some Side Pain - Feels like Ribs but it is not

I have had some side pain that I thought was ribs but I don't think it is since it does not respond to any pain medication.

Will it stop me from Hapkido tonight - nope. Even though it hurts a bit, I will deal with it. Yesterday we did some takedowns that were a little rough. Sore, tight neck muscles. I will work through it :) Last formal practice for the week.

12:00 a.m - We had a good practice tonight and it was a little more gentle than yesterdays not to say I do not have bruises and stuff .... but I think they are badges of courage.

The pain from doing Combat Hapkido doesn't really compare to some of the calf spasms I get. WOW.

Too Pooped to Pop .... Really Tired

I'm tired today (I was actually working on trying to fill my Wavemaster with a couple 50 Lb. bags of sand). Ok .... I guess I KNOW I should reserve my energy. But I want to be able to do a lot more than I sometimes can.

Now I am going to head off to Combat Hapkido training -- but I won't lie -- I'm REALLY tired.

I look forward to time with more energy when my thyroid kicks into gear and gives me more bang for my buck.

6:10 p.m -- We had a very tough, hard and aggressive Combat Hapkido practice (punch blocks, bear hug holds, take downs). I don't know how I made it through, but I did. CC and I worked outselves as hard as we could. She's been asleep almost since we've gotten home (barring some lunch and getting the Wavemaster bag filled and inside the house). The weather is supposed to be CRAPPY the next few days ... I wanted the bag inside so that we could use it. We've got the gloves, I've got "kicks" pads and a lot of will ... so it should be fun.

Tomorrow night we have another practice. It's cool, because going into the Dojang is almost like going into a church. There is definitely a sacredness about it and it can erase anything I was feeling up to that point. Any thoughts that I was thinking, anxious about -- it erases them. So in that way, it IS "church".

I'll make my martial arts journey a way of prayer and praying. That is pretty cool.

Top O' The Mornin' to You

Happy St. Patrick's Day to my blog readers.

It's been a great weekend for me -- doing the Combat Hapkido seminar and taking care of some errands on Sunday. I have found myself sleeping a little more than I am accustomed to but I suppose it is a good thing since sleep was something that has been more elusive while on Lupron. I am waiting for my new dose of Synthroid to kick in and I cannot say that I am really feeling it all too much. I have to give my endocrinologist a call next Tuesday to let him know how I am doing. To be fair, I have only been on the new dose for 6 days. I know that I have to give it more time. I SHOULD know by 2 weeks though.

Today is going to be a busy one for me. This morning CC and I have a visit to our salon for cuts and brows (CC a color, me -- next time). We have a bunch of deliveries including our Wavemaster XXL (this is a standing heavy punching bag used a lot in martial arts) along with CC's new hard drive and potentially her data too by DVD. And tonight, we have our Combat Hapkido class. I am going to have to divide my energy wisely and sum it all up for tonight's class. I suppose a nap will be in store for today at some point in the afternoon. Daily naps were originally prescribed for me by my Neurologist Dr. Lava as part of my routine. He's right on the money with that one.

My ribs are still sore from a throw on Saturday .... but that's a small price to pay. It was so much fun.

9:00 p.m: CC and I had to forgo Hapkido this evening because of out and out fatigue on both of our parts. It's been such a busy day and I've been installing CC's new hard drive and getting her recovered files and drivers on there ... tiring to say the least. We decided that we are going to do the Tuesday / Wednesday evening option this week. Today was just too busy for words. I'm tired just contemplating it.

I miss practice but have the sense I really would have been overdoing it and might have hurt myself out of stupidity. I did not get the nap and rest in that I thought I would. Given that ... I think abstaining this evening was NOT a poor choice on our part ... although I truly miss it.

No Limits .....

I had a full day Combat Hapkido Seminar (6 hours worth) and was actually able to sustain. I felt unlimited in most ways. It's amazing. When I am doing that I do not feel the disease called MS (minus the bladder most of the times, this is the most annoying part).

But bladder aside, I learn to compensate and take measures to help that out including catheterizing beforehand and NOT depriving myself of water or fluids. I need them ... and I sweat a lot ... so NOT drinking is not an option.

Great day. Even when the doctor found it hard to believe that I was doing martial arts with my TSH level at 41 ... I find a way to do it. The human spirit is pretty strong when it needs to be.

Cool stuff!!!

A LITTLE FOGGY

Today I've felt a little cognitively foggy and a little tired and on edge. CC's hard drive went kaput a couple of days ago and I have been in the process of working on a data recovery solution and a hard drive replacement. It's been stressful because CC is in a Ph.D program and much of her research and dissertation data was on that hard drive. One main lesson learned.

BACK UP DATA.

That is so important. I am ensuring that her PC has a HD fan attached and she has a good external hard drive to backup data. I may even see if I can find a network solution to take care of some of that too.

This evening CC and I did a little bit of our Combat Hapkido training with some trapping drills and techniques. Getting the coordination in order is going to take some time -- but it is fun. Tomorrow we have an ICHF.com
Combat Hapkido seminar locally with Grand Master John Pellegrini. Watching him do the techniques is amazing. We are looking forward to a good day. It should really work out butt of.

MS and Flexibility

I have been working extra hard being flexible. I know that this hypothyroidism is making my muscles spasm more easily. The doctor told me that -- yesterday I had a wicked dual calf spasm that was a KILLER and is still hurting today. I worked on my stretching routine in hopes that it would help my calves out. It helped to some degree but I am pretty cold, sore and tired.

Once my TSH level gets down to a normal range, I should begin to be feeling better. The doctor said surgery is also out of the question (septoplasty) until my thyroid levels are normalized because it makes anesthesia dangerous.

I was glad that I asked!

No nose surgery until things get WAY better.

Saturday, CC and I have a 6 hour Combat Hapkido Seminar -- it should be extremely fun but should also kick my butt (LOL).

12:30 a.m. - I've been stuck watching some "24" (the show is addicting and I forgot how exciting it can be). I just decided to pull out a season from my collection (in this case, Season 3) and start watching. I had a good day of stretching and some fatigue -- but nothing that drove me nuts. I have been COLD though and that is strange for me. Usually I am in shorts in any temperature around the 40's. It's just a little odd for me.

I hope I feel back to normal SOON. I'd be a happy camper. In the meantime, I am just catching more "zzzzz's". I am on the other side of the camp. Sleep is strange. Well ... whatever. It is what it is.

Really Hypothyroid !!

CC and I had our Combat Hapkido class today and he worked our butts out pretty well. It was really good!

I went to the Endocrinologist today and he had no idea how I was doing ANY martial arts! I am extremely hypothyroid right now. My TSH level should be about "5" and I am "41". Anyone over "5" is considered hypothyroid. He really was wondering how I could do anything active like martial arts. It also explains the puffiness in my face which is called myxedema. It should go down rather quickly with the right dosage of Synthroid. He's increased my dose from .075 mcg to .1 mg. He thinks I will probably have to work up to 125 or 150 in due time. I to call my Doc back in two weeks and let him know how I am feeling.

I can't believe I am doing what I am doing right now but can say that all the pillow talk I have been doing lately and the mood lability and weight issues make a bit more sense. I REALLY went hypothyroid ... it was not just me. And yes, I've been depressed too.

Good thing is ... I am off to a brand new me. I am loving Combat Hapkido and was even able to do a 5 minute job around the Dojang. Does not sound like much -- but for me it is. I am proud of pushing myself through such fatigue, etc. I feel like it is part of being an MS'er .... sometimes we have to work a lot harder to get stuff done. This is how THIS felt for me too. But one thing I know, being hypothyroid is quite dangerous. It really makes your blood pressure jump up: 155/99 is what mine was today and then after the appointment 147/89. Still really high for me.

Nuts ... at least we are working on it now.